WE ARE WHAT WE THINK… AND IT SHOWS
As a Life and Business Development Coach I’ve become painfully aware over the years that people just really don’t know themselves, not their inner selves. They’ve become all too familiar with what others see in them and in many cases have adopted the opinions of others as their own. You know, friends say, “Joe, you do everything with style.” Joe then sees himself as a person of style and at some level begins to live up to that assessment by his friends. It’s a classic example of self-fulfilling prophecy. That’s fine when the reputation one is working to live up to is a good one, but what about the negative comments people resign themselves to personifying.
A man or woman who knows his or her inner self will not be influenced by the tags with which others label them. The fact is, however, that those who have actually explored their inner selves and who really know themselves are few and far between. Since the beginning of time man has engaged in the exploration of things great and small on planet Earth and throughout the Universe, and has made great discoveries. He has done so, however, without ever really knowing himself. There have been those who manage to include the exploration of self into their quest for understanding and the meaning of life and they are the great ones and are few in number.
Among my clients are some really heavy hitters, people who hold positions of considerable importance in the world. These people know and understand more about world affairs than I ever care to know…and yet, they come to see me because they need someone to help them understand themselves. Within 15 minutes after engaging in conversation with new clients I know more about them then they know about themselves.
Feeling that someone can read your mind has to be an uncomfortable experience. Many of them become, for use of a better word…spooked. Some actually consider that I could actually know things that are classified. I cannot, I have no great and mysterious powers.
What I do have is an understanding of the human mind and how it works. I learn a lot about a person by simply paying attention to their word choices. It’s a bit complicated, but essentially, the words a person chooses to use repeatedly, actually reflect their thinking and that thinking is a reflection of who they are. If the words are empowering, they empower the user. The more empowered the user the more natural it is to choose more empowering words. Conversely, if one chooses damaging words, words that destroy rather than build, that person is actually destroying him or her self with those words and as a result they wake one morning and realize that they have little control over their thinking and subsequently over their lives. It’s at that point that they finally discover that they do not really know themselves…their inner selves. That’s when my phone rings.
